Entering the Next Chapter

The Marriage of Mr. & Mrs. Jordan August 25, 2004 - July 15, 2019 On July 15, 2019, the Jordan marriage, one that brought forth three amazing children, died at the age of almost 15 years.  The relationship was born in July 2003. After a short period of dating the Jordans (then Buchanan and Jordan) progressed to an engagement. The engagement lasted one year to the day when vows were said in front of a very small group. Just three and a half months after the wedding day, the Jordans welcomed their first daughter Abbie. The marriage had many bumps, as many marriages tend to have in general. Having been a young marriage, the marriage seemed pretty stable overall thanks be to God. The Jordans welcomed their second daughter Eb almost seven years into the marriage and then two years later welcomed their third and final daughter, Charlie.  The Jordans loved watching BBC shows together. They enjoyed cooking and entertaining friends and family. They loved using humor to make it throug

The next two weeks are going to be especially painful for me. I am preparing my heart ahead and have been forcing myself to dig into scripture. I say forcing myself because the last few years I have been so thirsty for the word so much so that reading and praying were easy. With these trials, though, I have found myself pushing away from God. Reading Gods word and praying bring pain to my flesh and heart because I am angry with God. So I am forcing myself to do what is right and obey, even if my flesh cries out.  One year ago today, I was driving to Colorado with my girls. It was stressful and overwhelming but I was excited to enter a new chapter of my life. I could feel my heart break as we got further and further from my friends and family.  One year ago today, the thought of my hubby brought a smile to my face instead of tears to my eyes. Even after 14 years my heart still fluttered. He was my best friend and my love. I felt like what we had was unbreakable, but I was blissfully

I have always found writing very therapeutic especially in times that I can not completely process my feelings and thoughts. I decided that I would write my way through the five stages of grief.  As a general background on grief, there are said to be five stages of grief. DABDA.. Denial... Anger... Bargaining... Depression... and Acceptance. I believe that everyone goes through all the stages when mourning but the length of time a person spends in each one varies greatly from person to person. For example some people might only spend a few seconds in denial while another can spend a day or week. All of the stages are our bodies way of processing and protecting us.  Today I lost someone... well I didn't really lose them because I know right where he is. He is in heaven. He is a man of many names. Some call him Carvin, some call him Pastor Don, some call him father, grandpa, husband, and I called him P. Don. I met him when I was in a very broken place. I was recently separated fr