Entering the Next Chapter

It isn't very often that my husband becomes concerned about me, but recently he was asking me about my blogging. I told him I haven't written anything in a while and he was concerned. It is not like me to not want to communicate, write, and process things openly. He has been telling me that I need to write a blog post and has even been trying to give me ideas, which slightly annoyed and confused me since he doesn't even read my writings.  I have battled depression and anxiety since I was in high school. One of my first signs of slipping into it is when I become withdrawn... isolated.. and tired. Don't get me wrong, I don't feel depressed, but I do know that these are warning signs. The best way I have controlled my anxiety and depression is by being proactive. When I feel like isolating, I make myself get out. When I feel like sleeping all the time, I make myself wake up on a schedule. Things like this, along with recognizing my warning signs have made a huge diff

╰☆╮ First let me apologize in advance... I have recently found some new emoticons that I can use on here to add a little umph to my posts. Since this is the first time finding them I might over use them a bit... I guess this is an apology and a warning. They are really cute. ╰☆╮ For those who know me, I have always struggled with organizing and cleaning. When I am faced with a mess I just stand staring at it feeling overwhelmed. I have a hard time doing anything because I can't figure out where to start. When I was a child I would be sent to my room to clean and several hours later I would get in trouble for having not finished anything. The other problem I have is focus. I can get really easily distracted sometimes. As I clean I end up looking at ever paper and getting sucked into a entirely different train of thought. I feel like the dogs on the movie "UP" who get side tracked every time they see a squirrel.  Recently, I began reading and doing the whole Flylady th

So we have come down to the final day of the blog challenge and although I have begun the next challenge, I am still slightly sad that this is over. I can't believe that I actually did it though. I followed through and accomplished something. So for the final post on this blog challenge the question is pretty deep.  List 5 things you would hope to be remembered for. 1. Being a godly woman. I just think it would be the most awesome thing to be remembered for. My daughters are the ones I really want to think of me in this way.  2. Being completely real and honest with others. I don't want to be known for having secrets. I don't want all those skeletons to come falling out of my closet as they close the casket. I don't want people to see me as another quote on quote Christian. I want them to see me as someone who has fallen many times but has the grace of God covering all her flaws.  3. As being a good friend. A real true friend who loves you just as you are, but a

I have several things that turn me off. But the two biggest ones would have to be my daughters. There is nothing like the fear that strikes when you hear little foot steps coming down the hallway or the guilt you feel upon hearing little cries for your attention while doing "laundry" (as my friend calls it).  What are your biggest turn-offs? 

What made you start blogging?  What do you think people misundertand most about you?  So today I decided to combine both of these challenging questions because I think one answers the other. 

What is your love language?  I took the quiz. I didn't actually know what the five love languages were. I took a quiz to find out more. I was shocked at how well it encompasses me. My love languages ranging from the most to the least.  Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Quality Time, Recieving Gifts  I want my hubby to take the same quiz but I can guess what his top two would be. They are most likely Physical touch and Quality time. I am guessing these because those are the two things he often mentions.  So what is acts of service? I would rather my hubby help me clean the house, offer to watch the girls, give me a massage, or cook dinner, than for him to buy me something or even watch a movie together. I feel loved through simple acts and effort.  I think it is more important to know what the love language of your spouse is than to know your own. I make the effort to meet my spouses love language. I know that by just sitting next to him when he watche

What is your favorite part of your body and why? Betty and Sally are sisters. They love to hang around. Sally gets really annoyed at all the attention that her sister gets, even though her sister is a little bigger than her. They both worked so hard to provide for Elizabeth but were replaced after just a few months. They refuse to be apart and are very social. I usually get embarrassed of their outgoing personalities and I try to keep them away from people. It seems at random times they pop up for a little visit, so I have them go home. Betty and Sally are sisters, and they are my favorite sisters. What is your favorite part of you body?

What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong? I think that the world, consisting of people, assumes that it is all about them. They start to see things that are focused on what they need and feel they have a right to. What will make them happy.  The fact is that nothing, but God, can fill the void in a person. No amount of food, sex, or drugs can make a person feel satisfied. I think that even as Christians, we can turn to things to fill the gaps instead of seeking closeness to God. 

If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat? I have been thinking about the answer to this question for days. There are so many people I would want to have dinner with and all for such different reason.  I would love to have dinner with my grandfather, who passed away seven years ago. I miss the stories he had and the great insight I did not know to appreciate at that time.  I would love to have dinner with King David, the author of many of my favorite scriptures. I would love to see how he processed things. I would love to meet him and hear his story of God's love.  After speaking to a friend of mine about my predicament, not being able to choose a person, she mentioned to me the person I would definitely choose. If I could have dinner with anyone in history I would eat with Martin Luther King, Jr. I am so thankful for him and all those who have fought for equality and peace. His dream can be seen in the smiles of my daughters. H

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years? This one is kinda tough for me. I am not sure how into it I will go. My life has never gone the way I thought it would. This is not a bad thing, it is actually quite the opposite. For example, I am going to flip this around. 15 yrs ago I was 12. I remember feeling so proud to be a "preteen" and thinking I was so grown. I was sure that I would be a massage therapist. I wanted to also be a singer to raise money for my Special Education class. I had thought that I would be living back in Ohio.  This was before I began having my chronic pains through out my body. 10 years ago I was 17. I had thought that I would have gone far away to college. I wanted to be a sign interpreter for a Christian school. I loved kids but had no direct interest in having any. I also didn't want any man to tell me what to do or to hold me down.  This was before I met my now hubby and just two year prior to becoming pregnant. 

If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first? I would choose healing touch. I think of how differently my life would be if I would have been able to heal myself of the chronic pains that began in sixth grade (I can't believe it has been 15 years) and of the athletic asthma. Would I have been more physically active? Would I have been a massage therapist? Would I have been able to do my daughters hair the way she wishes? Would I be in a better mood towards my family? So many questions.  Who else would I heal? I would probably heal my children when they are hurt. But don't all mommies have that power already?  Though I said that I would have chosen the power of healing, now thinking about it I wouldn't. God has used my struggles with health and has pulled me closer to Him. If having better health would mean sacrificing the closeness I have with the Lord, from trusting Him to help me with my daily struggles, I wouldn't want it

What is the thing you most wish you were great at? I wish I was great at emotionally separating myself from situations when it comes to disciplining my children. I see my mom handle it with such grace, peace, love, and dignity. She is able to correct and discuss without becoming emotionally involved. She would spank us and not be angry at our actions. Maybe she was just better at hiding her frustrations, maybe we just pushed her to her breaking point, or maybe she just has this way of handling things.  Sometimes I get angry, frustrated, tired, annoyed, and disappointed. I try to hide my feelings and handle things with grace but I know that sometime I can be transparent.  Do you get angry or feel like you would lose your cool with your child?                                                                        What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive? Wow, this one cuts deep doesn't it... If I told the most difficult thing I have ever had to for

One of Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop prompts was to s hare a lesson you learned from your Father that still sticks with you to this day. As soon as I saw this I knew exactly what to post. My father used to always quote one particular poem. One year he gave me and siblings picture frames that contained the poem. I kept it on my dresser for years reading it repeatedly, and now I have it displayed in my home.  He told me this combined with one other quote... "Everything's Negotiable."  His words had a great impact on my life. I learned to expect the most out of myself. I expect the most out of jobs. I expect the most out of people. But I think the biggest example of it's impact is with my daughters.  I set the bar high for my daughters. I expect them to work hard, to be obedient, and for them to be self-controlled. They have always exceeded my expectations. Of course, if they don't meet the bar I am still proud of them. I think as a society w

Describe  10  5 pet peeves you have: 1. The sound and feel of Styrofoam. I consider Styrofoam to be my Kryptonite. It makes this sound that gives me chills.  2. Lies. I hate it when someone, especially my child lies to me. Most of the time I can tell that she is lying and I don't like people treating me like I am an idiot. I am also a pretty forgiving and loving person. I tell Abbie that she will get in much less trouble if she tells me the truth. I might still get mad but not nearly as much as when she lies.  3. People who don't have phone etiquette. Talking on the phone in a public restroom or talking to me on the phone when they are in any bathroom. Children interrupting and trying to ask me things when I am on the phone. Opening and ending conversations without any greeting or warning. Answering the phone and texting while driving. Talking on their phone or texting when you are in the middle of a conversation with them. I don't have an issue with people

Describe your most embarrassing moment. The year was 1994. I was in the third grade and feeling so grown. There sitting across the room was a cute and quiet boy named Adam. I had a secret crush on him for years. I would draw hearts around his yearbook page.  One day during computer lab I was so elated to find out that the boy of my dreams was going to be my computer partner. I thought it was my big day. This would surely be the day that he would fall in love with me. We were sitting only inches from each other. I went to scratch my head and felt something in my hair. I pulled on it and suddenly heard a girlish squeal followed by a disgusted yell. It was a tick... I had thrown a tick onto my crush.  He went to tell the teacher who sent us to the nurses office. I felt like I was going to die. The nurse had to check both of us for ticks. For the next several years he would call me Tick Girl.  Sadly, Brad Paisley had not come out with his hit, "Ticks."  Well

Describe 3 legitimate fears and explain why you fear them.. 1. I just realized today that I have a fear of my husband losing his job. In the last year my husband has shown up at home early twice unannounced. Each time I was hit in the gut with a terrible feeling. Just upon seeing his face after he opened the door, I knew that he had lost his job. I felt so overwhelmed, stressed, and anxious. I feared not being able to pay the bills or provide for the girls. His new job has him coming home at random times when they are not busy. When he walks in the door my heart and thoughts start racing. I know in my head that God is in control and that he has and will provide for us, but my flesh pulls me into a place of fear.  2. Depression, anxiety, manic depression, and other mental illnesses run strong in my family as well as my husbands family. Since my oldest daughter is so much like me, I fear her possible struggle with mental illness. I remember the feeling of being in the deepest darkest