Entering the Next Chapter

Over the last year, I have thought about, read about, and prayed for my future Boaz. The godly man who comes and protects and saves me. To me, Boaz was the amazing man who I have already placed on a pedestal before even meeting him. I tend to be the type of woman who places others, and more specifically men, on a pedestal. I have rose-colored glasses attached to my face and do not see them as the people they are. At the same time, I always see myself through smeared scratched dirty lenses. I see all the ways I am lacking and will never be worthy of these pedestal people.  Why can't he love me? What is wrong with me? I am just that unattractive. I am too honest and raw. I am rough around the edges. I am not godly enough. I am not smart enough. I am not strong enough.  I find myself just thankful to hold any value in others' eyes, that I slowly lose all sense of the worth I once may have held.  Holding men on a pedestal hurts me and is unfair to them. They did not ask to be

Take a moment to look at this angle chart below: Many women have found that when taking a selfie the most flattering angle tends to be between 30 ° and 60 ° (also between 120 ° and 150 °. This angle lessens the dreaded double chin, slims the figure, and makes all the difference in the world. It seems like such a silly little thing, but it is a big deal. Many of us already struggle to like or even to just tolerate our bodies, especially in reflections and pictures. We notice every little imperfection. We see the rolls, the pimples, the shape of our nose, and so many other things. So if that little difference in an angle changes how we feel about ourselves even in a tiny way, we do it.  I was looking through the pictures on my phone when I came upon two pictures that I hate! I found them absolutely embarrassing and horrifying to look at. I went to delete them when I came upon a couple realizations.    My first realization:   Charlie took these pictures and they are her art

Hello Friends, It feels like it has been forever. I have missed writing so much but haven't felt like I could. I haven't felt like I have had enough to say. Have you ever felt like you weren't enough? Is your life enough? Are your relationships enough? Is your job enough? What is enough? Merriam Webster defines enough as "occurring in such quantity, quality, or scope as to fully meet demands, needs, or expectations. I would define enough as the unobtainable bar that continues to only move further from me. It is the state of living a life full of regret, guilt, and sadness. In my life there are several areas where I would consider I am falling behind in the enough category. Here are just a few: I am not smart enough I am not strong enough I am not fit enough I am not brave enough I am not good enough as a wife I am not good enough as a mother I do not have enough financial stability I do not have enough faith Where are you falling short in the enoug

God, You are good. You are have always had your hand of protection and provision upon me and my family. I have seen You do miracles that would be considered great to many and in some that would be considered tiny. You have shown me great mercy and love, even in times when I was least deserving. You reign Most High over all.  Yet God, I still struggle to see You at time. I struggle to remember Your goodness and faithfulness. I struggle to understand that You are bigger than my circumstances. I struggle to know that You love me in my weaknesses. I struggle to look to You first, instead of trying to carry the burden alone.  God, I am sorry for my lack of faith. I am sorry for taking my eyes off of You. I am sorry for allowing the things around me to consume me with anxiety. I am sorry for failing to give You the glory and honor You always deserve.  God, my God, I need Your help. Help me to set my eyes on You, Lord. Help me narrow the gap between my head and my heart. Help me t

Warning: This is me getting on my soap box. As always I do not expect anyone who does not share my beliefs to follow my beliefs. I also do not apologize for honestly giving my thoughts and beliefs, but am more than happy to hear your views from you... so please share in the comments section.  Today my girls and I went to visit my parents church which is lead by Pastor Sharp. What he brought up was the way we conform to the world instead of rejecting the views of it. I think that often we end up conforming to the world's views through slowly compromising, most often through a process we call "Political Correctness".  This is a picture of the Grand Canyon. What amazes me is that they think the shape of the canyon is caused by wind and water (the river). It is said that a constant drip of water can shape and wear down a stone or rock. This reminds me of American Christians. We are built on such a strong foundation. We are built on the rock but through allowing just

Tonight my heart is heavy with concerns for mothers who feel insecure, scared, and alone. I don't think that personal struggles are expressed openly in our society and I fear that it is causing more mothers to feel alone in their struggles. For example, postpartum depression is not often talked about amongst friends and yet it supposedly affects 11-20% of mothers. Personally, I wonder if the number would be higher if women did not feel guilt when admitting their struggles.  Let me start by saying that I truly feel that motherhood is an amazing gift from God. I am so blessed to have my children and wouldn't change a thing.  Now that I have said that, I am going to let you in on a dirty little secret. Motherhood is hard... actually it is not just hard. It is physically and emotionally exhausting. It is overwhelming, stressful, tedious, frustrating, painful, and the toughest things I have ever had to do. There are times that I am so overwhelmed that I can't decide whether

I decided to take Abbie to the bookstore a little over a week ago, on Friday September 21st. I was in hope of finding some book series that I could get her to read that would spark a love of reading. I naturally do not have a love for reading but rather lothe it.  When I was growing up I had several issues with reading and never truly felt sucked into a book like I would hear other describe. The star wars book were a huge solution to my parents struggle to get my oldest brother to read. He founds something he connected with and had a passion for. I want that for Abbie. We picked her up a book about a mermaid. We have yet to start it due to the chapter books she has to read for school. I am hoping to get back into the rhythm of things at home. I also decided that it is important for her to see me reading more, if I want her to read. I love reading the Bible and get so much from it but if faking a passion for reading would help her it is worth it. It might also teach me more discipline.

This letter is intended for Christian women and ladies. I do NOT expect a non-Christian to follow these rules and guidelines. If you are a non-Christian you can feel free to continue reading and maybe even respect my plea, but I in no way expect it of you.  Dear Christian Women and Ladies,  I write this letter to you as a plea and as a lesson. Let me start with the plea.  My husband, like so so many other men, has a constant struggle with lust. Do not be fooled, even the most godly men can struggle with this sin. We all struggle with sin. Romans 3:23 states, "for all have sinned  and fall short of the glory of God." I believe that while we all sin and all sin is equal, I believe that we each may have certain sins we struggle with more. In our society sex and lust are all around. There are billboards, book, music, pictures, pornography, women, but it is a very sad thing when it can be found among Christians. Please, as a sister, a Christian, a woman, and a friend do not

Last week I had to face a major trial, and I am still facing it. You see, someone who I really care for has an addiction. Without my realizing, the pull of this addiction became overwhelming for the person and lead them to steal something so precious and priceless from me in order to get the high that they needed.  Friday morning I had found not only evidence of the addictions grip but all noticed that the item was gone and with it my trust. They had broken into my room when I lay asleep, and now I feel completely invaded. I know that comes with invasion of privacy, but I think it also comes from trusting someone and being betrayed by that same person. "You know the effort I have given And you know exactly what it cost And though my innocence was taken Not everything is lost Not everything is lost nooooo" -Brandon Heath "Your Love" Over the last year God has been teaching me that He is in control. I have learned that people will sin and make bad ch

Today's Vlog Challenge was to describe the worst date I had ever been on. For me that would have to be my wedding. It was also the best date ever since I got to marry my hubby.  What was the worst date you had ever been on? Why?

So we have come down to the final day of the blog challenge and although I have begun the next challenge, I am still slightly sad that this is over. I can't believe that I actually did it though. I followed through and accomplished something. So for the final post on this blog challenge the question is pretty deep.  List 5 things you would hope to be remembered for. 1. Being a godly woman. I just think it would be the most awesome thing to be remembered for. My daughters are the ones I really want to think of me in this way.  2. Being completely real and honest with others. I don't want to be known for having secrets. I don't want all those skeletons to come falling out of my closet as they close the casket. I don't want people to see me as another quote on quote Christian. I want them to see me as someone who has fallen many times but has the grace of God covering all her flaws.  3. As being a good friend. A real true friend who loves you just as you are, but a

Of all the romantic comedies I have seen, Barefoot in the Park, is the one movie that connects so much with me. I love the writing, the acting, and the scenes. More than those, I love the characters.  Corrie and Paul Bratter are newly weds. Corrie is an eccentric, free spirited, dramatic, all or nothing girl. She loves to walk barefoot in the park, loves to experience new people and things, and loves to be wildly in love. Paul is a logical, sarcastic, organized, uptight,  and motivated guy. They have a quick engagement and fall deeply in love. When they get married they don't know what it really means to be married. They have a need for each other that they can't understand, but haven't learned to respect each other or to fight for their love. At the first sign of trouble, when their differences loose appeal and become an issue, they give up.  I remembering watching the movie years ago, when things were not going well in our marriage and I wanted to give up, and