Entering the Next Chapter

Over seven years ago, I began writing this blog. I have had many times when I paused for a bit and picked it back up later. Writing has always been a way for me to process my thoughts and feelings. Just as I have changed a lot over the last seven years, so shall this blog. The heart of it will remain the same though.  What is the heart of the blog? Life sucks... things happen... it is not easy and it never will be. God is still faithful. God is still worthy of glory and honor. I tend to not sugar coat things, so if that is your preference you might want to look elsewhere.  I am entering a new chapter. This chapter is one I never ever imagined I would be entering, the life of a single mother of three and soon to be a divorcee. I am 34 years old, living back home with my parents and daughters, trying to get my footing. It sucks.... like a dagger into your heart, bleeding out on the floor trying to call out for help but only able to get out silent screams as the world just continues o

List  5 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could. 1. Lose the weight now... You may think that you are obese but you are only slightly overweight. It would be a lot easier to lose the weight now then to try to when you are obese.  2. The fibromyalgia pain is not going to go away... Don't feel defeated, but also don't let the pain stop you from doing thing. I know you want it to just mysteriously go away but it wont. It may sound weird but you will grow to appreciate it when you see that it pulls you closer to God and creates character.  3. Be more active in school activities... I know you think it is cool to be one of the "weird" ones and to rebel against the system but you will regret not doing any activities with your free time.  4. You are not stupid... The reason you have are having problems reading is not because you are stupid. Your reading level is definitely not where it should be, with help at Sylvan, things with be so much better. Do

Why does it feel so good to be bad and yet so blah to be good?  I was remembering the feelings I had when I was first dating and engaged to my now hubby. There was such a spark, such an excitement, and such a pure magnetism.  We had a whirlwind romance. We were engaged after just twelve days of dating. When I met him I wanted to spend every waking moment talking to him and kissing him. I could feel my heart flutter and my cheeks become warm from the blood rushing to them. When he looked at me I felt like the sexiest woman alive. Just a glance would make me smile ear to ear.  Our love was a rebellious love. My parents thought that I had fallen too fast and too soon. Other family members disowned me.  We were told by teachers that it wouldn't last. There is something about rebelling that creates an excitement. It made me feel alive and strong. My adrenaline would rush when I would go to see him.  I studied him. I felt like a sponge and would long to learn more about h