Entering the Next Chapter

I notice the fog creeping up on the front window. I continued to replay the argument in my mind. At the first sound of my ring tone I jumped. Would he really have the balls to call me  right  instead of just stepping out the door? At the second ring I decided to look at the phone. It was him. He was one of my best friends. As I spoke on the phone he reassured me. He told me everything I wanted to hear but none of what I needed to hear. He told me that I deserved better. He told me that I am smart and beautiful. He told me that he could understand me and felt closer to me than anyone ever before and I felt the same about him. Those were all words that I had longed to hear for so long. What first was only the best intentions soon turned into something dangerous. Things at home went from bad to worse. I was extremely lonely.  My marriage was explosive.  A huge fight left us in shambles. I told my husband that I wanted out. I went to find comfort in my friend. When I was with him I no lo

I walked into the room filled with joy and excitement. I sat down on the bed next to my love and I saw it. My heart immediately stopped. I could feel my chest tighten and my eyes were flushed with salty tears of pain, anger, and disappointment. When my heart began to beat again I could feel it sink into my stomach. Even though the image was only on the screen for a second before he was able to close it, it felt like minutes. I was able to have an entire dialog with myself as the thoughts flowed from my soul, but I wasn't able to get the lump in my throat up enough to push out the words I so wanted to say. I took a very focused breath and asked what I needed to ask. He seemed extremely defensive in his assurances that it was only a pop-up from a blog.  God must have given me His peace, because I only asked to see the blog that it pops up on. Upon viewing the blog several times there was no pop-up. I had asked to see his history in as much of a calm and nonjudgemental fashion I cou

Within days of having had open heart surgery, patients are encouraged to walk around the hospital as a form of exercise. Why does the heart need exercise so soon? Is it all the way healed already?  The reason I bring this up is because I am learning that there is not much difference between the way you treat a physical injury and an emotional one. Both can take sometime to heal. Both may need intervention from someone trained in the relating field. And both can affect your everyday activities. I find myself asking, "how long do I heal before I begin to exercise love and acceptance again? Am I ready?"  The heart needs to exercise soon after an injury for a few reasons. It helps the doctors see if the heart is working correctly after the surgery. It is important to have a blood flow to the area to increase the speed of healing. It is also important to make sure the body doesn't atrophy.  The heart is not healed all the way, but slowly getting into a exercise program