Anxiety attack
I let myself cry last night. I hate crying. When I cry I feel weak and embarrassed. I feel as if I am not holding it together. I feel broken. I especially hate crying in front of my children. I don't want to break their spirits or concern them. I don't want them to see mommy out of control. When I cry in front of them I feel as if I am failing to show them God's light, love, and hope. I tell them all the time that it is ok to cry. I tell them that it is ok to feel overwhelmed. I tell them that I love them and I pray with them, but when it comes to myself I act differently. If the person in this situation was a friend of mine or just a stranger, I would love them and support them. I don't allow myself the same grace. Let me give you a little background on what lead to this crash and burn. Our van is in the shop until next week. My loving parents are going to cover the cost; it is a huge blessing but I feel an overwhelming amount of guilt. I feel unworthy of them