Entering the Next Chapter

As I lay in bed waiting to fall asleep, I play my favorite game on the phone. In all my efforts to pass the level I end up killing all of my lives. I have to decide whether to wait ten minutes to gain a new life or to turn off the phone and just go to bed. I know that there is no way I will be able to sleep if I don't beat the level for once and for all, so I decide to wait it out. I begin looking through the phone to find something that will keep me busy until I get a new life. I go and look at the beautiful pictures of my family. Pictures that truly grasp all the love my family brings me. Then something reaches into my chest, wraps it's fist around my heart, and stop it with a deep pain. I suddenly forget how to breathe and become light headed. The picture is of a naked woman's large breasts. My head is filled with so many thoughts that I am unable to collect them all. What the hell? Not again. I thought we were doing so well. What is wrong with me? Why does he hav

Last night I cried myself to sleep. I allowed myself to feel defeated. I allowed myself to be defined by my inabilities instead of my abilities.  Flash back to earlier in the day....  The house is quieter than most days. Only the gentle patter of one child's footsteps could be heard. As Charlie played quietly I decided that it was the perfect time to work on school work. I cleaned off the table and stacked my books neatly in the upper left corner. My colored pens sat neatly on top of my purple spiral bound notebook. My computer set up on the classes website with a tab open to the e-textbook. I felt prepared and empowered to get work done.  I spent the next several hours reading the chapter and taking notes in different colors to help me understand the material better. General information written in blue ink, vocabulary words in purple ink, and notes from the teacher's video links in pink ink. When Charlie would run into the room to get attention, I pulled her up on my lap