Where's my freaking handbook?

Some women, such as my mom, handle parenting with such grace and such confidence. I feel like they have a handbook and mine just got lost in the mail. I am sure they have times where they feel at a complete loss of what to do, but their game faces are so convincing that it makes me feel like less of a mother when I am red in the face and pulling my hair out. I don't always agree with the way they parent but am amazed at how they make it look soo easy. I know for fact that they don't always agree with my parenting. 


The type of parent I am.... 

1. I don't spare the rod... I completely believe in spanking (we call them whoopings b/c that is the term my husband uses). I do have rules for spanking though. I don't spank when I am angry or emotionally involved, because for me that makes the difference between discipline and punishing. There are several times I see kids in public being completely disrespectful and disobedient and I just imagine how I would have applied the hand to the bottom.  Proverbs 13:24 "Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them." 
2. I am pretty strict. I know that many of my friends and family think I am too strick. Many think I am too strict on my older daughter because she is so well behaved, but the fact is she is so well behaved (publicly) because I am strict. I have high expectations for my children and I noticed when I do they exceed my expectations. For example, my nine month old was crawling toward the trash can. I said in a firm demanding voice, "No, Eb. Come here." She looked back at me for a second then began crawling toward it again. Again I said, "No, Eb. Come here." She looked at the trash can and then turned around and came to me. Many moms would just figure that she is nine months and wouldn't know how to obey. Many would just go get her. I knew and expect obedience from my daughter. Of course when she came to me I rewarded her with hugs and kisses. I was so proud. 
3. I get very creative with discipline. I will have my daughter hold cans for minutes at a time. If her mouth gets her in trouble, not just with bad words but also with back talking, then she gets soap in the mouth. She recently had to completely wash and dry 8 loads of laundry. I make her write letters to people when she is rude to them. She can lose all privileges, including electronics, toys, good food (she will get basic food like bread, water, cheese, and a piece of meat), clothing (she loses her choice of clothing and will only have white shirts and jeans), and has lost her bed (she sleeps on the bottom part of a trundle bed and lost the pretty designed top part). 
4. I am extremely fun. Though I am strict, I am also very balanced since I am fun. I love to dance throughout the house with my daughters. I love to play in the dirt and make a mess. I love to be crafty and creative. I thrive for moments where I can have a great time with them, but only after they have earned it. 
5. My main focus on raising my daughters in around knowing and growing in Christ. I am training them to not only deal with the outside world but the spiritual warfare that is ongoing. 

No matter how you raise you child, if they have a disobedient and stubborn heart they alone have to choose to change it. I am having a hard time with this. It seems like no matter what we take away from her or what discipline we use; she will still choose to disobey and disrespect. 

Right now I am at a little bit of a loss on how to get her to stop lying. She is choosing to lie about so many things, big and small. When I was growing up my mom always told us that lying is her pet-peeve. She told us that whatever we did, we would be in less trouble than if we lied to her. It made her feel like we thought she was stupid because she already knew what we had done wrong. I guess she rubbed off on me, because lying is one of my biggest pet-peeve, secondly only to disrespecting an adult. There are so many world views on how to handle a child who lies, but I am not trying to raise a child of the world. I want to raise a child of the Word. 

Proverbs 22:6 Start children off on the way they should go,and even when they are old they will not turn from it. 

I might not know how to look confident, graceful, or quote Dr.Phil; but I can be confident in raising a child in the word of God. I don't need to be the best parent, but I can allow God to teach and train me on how to raise my daughters. As any parent of multiple children can tell you, each child is soo different. What works on one child might not work on the other. But who knows my daughters hearts like God? He has given me the ultimate handbook and the ultimate counselor. I love when my mom tells me that God placed Abbie and Eb with me because I am the best mommy for Abbie and Eb. He knew what He was doing. I might not be the best mom for you child or for any other child but I am the best one for mine.