Entering the Next Chapter

What is the thing you most wish you were great at? I wish I was great at emotionally separating myself from situations when it comes to disciplining my children. I see my mom handle it with such grace, peace, love, and dignity. She is able to correct and discuss without becoming emotionally involved. She would spank us and not be angry at our actions. Maybe she was just better at hiding her frustrations, maybe we just pushed her to her breaking point, or maybe she just has this way of handling things.  Sometimes I get angry, frustrated, tired, annoyed, and disappointed. I try to hide my feelings and handle things with grace but I know that sometime I can be transparent.  Do you get angry or feel like you would lose your cool with your child?                                                                ...

I notice the fog creeping up on the front window. I continued to replay the argument in my mind. At the first sound of my ring tone I jumped. Would he really have the balls to call me  right  instead of just stepping out the door? At the second ring I decided to look at the phone. It was him. He was one of my best friends. As I spoke on the phone he reassured me. He told me everything I wanted to hear but none of what I needed to hear. He told me that I deserved better. He told me that I am smart and beautiful. He told me that he could understand me and felt closer to me than anyone ever before and I felt the same about him. Those were all words that I had longed to hear for so long. What first was only the best intentions soon turned into something dangerous. Things at home went from bad to worse. I was extremely lonely.  My marriage was explosive.  A huge fight left us in shambles. I told my husband that I wanted out. I went to find comfort in my friend. When I w...

As I sit at my keyboard my eyes well up with tears. What once were tears of grief and sorrow are now tears of joy. I feel like God is wrapping me in His arms. It is the first time in a while that I feel like I can breathe again.  I made it through. God helped me through.  Several months ago, I had lost a very dear friend to me. We had to cut communication because it was not a healthy situation to be in. It was completely unexpected and shook my world. I prayed that God would show His glory through the situation, but wasn't sure what that would look like. It seemed like a few months ago many people in my life weren't where God wanted them to be.  Through this all God taught me what it means to be a true friend. When I was a child I thought a friend was just someone that you play with. It was a person that was easily replaceable. Through this situation I have not only learned who my friends are but how to be a friend.  I had many friends step up and show me love ...

I walked into the room filled with joy and excitement. I sat down on the bed next to my love and I saw it. My heart immediately stopped. I could feel my chest tighten and my eyes were flushed with salty tears of pain, anger, and disappointment. When my heart began to beat again I could feel it sink into my stomach. Even though the image was only on the screen for a second before he was able to close it, it felt like minutes. I was able to have an entire dialog with myself as the thoughts flowed from my soul, but I wasn't able to get the lump in my throat up enough to push out the words I so wanted to say. I took a very focused breath and asked what I needed to ask. He seemed extremely defensive in his assurances that it was only a pop-up from a blog.  God must have given me His peace, because I only asked to see the blog that it pops up on. Upon viewing the blog several times there was no pop-up. I had asked to see his history in as much of a calm and nonjudgemental fashion ...