When I look into the mirror I don't recognize myself. I see this person who has glimpses of me but at the same time is not in the same body as I remember. At some points I try to avoid them, for fear of breaking down in tears. As distorted as it is, I don't imagine myself as a fat person. I feel trapped in my body. I am an emotional eater. I am sitting here filled with anxiety over what I am about to post, and trying to resist the large bag of Cheetos that is calling to me. Though I know it is wrong, I am one of those people who eat to numb the pain. When I was speaking to a friend of mine, the other day, we were discussing anticipatory anxiety (where you become anxious at the thought of whatever might cause anxiety. One of my counselors told me that the best way to face it is head on. So here I go.... (heart beat races... breathing becomes rapid... sweat begins to accumulate on forehead.) I had seen a news article on a very different blog. The Bell...
I agree with everything you said. I LOVE putting music on that reflects my mood, and I love candles, too!!! Cleaning, I always put on my fast pace music. I find it more fun to clean to a fast beat. Dancing around like a fool is fun too! haha.
ReplyDeleteI actually leaned some of the dances to the fresh beat band, and when the show comes on, I show my son that mommy can do the dance too! Its fun for me, and he gets a kick out of it!
I like to get out of the house. Even if its for a drive. I will get in the car and go drive around and I always feel better when I come back. Refreshed, because like you said, a change of scenery is good (and healthy).
keep vloging Faith, you're so good at it!!! xoxo