God is good

My God is good. My God is love. My God is true. My God is just. My God is God of all things.

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My struggle with self image...

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When I look into the mirror I don't recognize myself. I see this person who has glimpses of me but at the same time is not in the same body as I remember. At some points I try to avoid them, for fear of breaking down in tears. As distorted as it is, I don't imagine myself as a fat person. I feel trapped in my body.  I am an emotional eater. I am sitting here filled with anxiety over what I am about to post, and trying to resist the large bag of  Cheetos that is calling to me. Though I know it is wrong, I am one of those people who eat to numb the pain.  When I was speaking to a friend of mine, the other day, we were discussing anticipatory anxiety (where you become anxious at the thought of whatever might cause anxiety. One of my counselors told me that the best way to face it is head on.  So here I go.... (heart beat races... breathing becomes rapid... sweat begins to accumulate on forehead.) I had seen a news article on a very different blog.  The Bell...
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Scars

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Merriam-Webster defines a scar as: 1: a mark left (as in the skin) by the healing of injured tissue 2: a lasting emotional injury  I had spent so many years hiding my scars. Trying to not allow anyone to see them or know that they exist. My scars were embarrassing and would bring me back to the emotional state I was in at the time of receiving them. Almost all of my scars were a direct result of my rebellion and lostness before finding God and placing him as my healer, savior, and my father. Recently I have found that as I grow closer to God, I am able to show my scars. God has taken them and has shown others, with similar scars, love and healing. Instead of feeling embarrassed I feel humbled by how great God is to take me from my broken self to who He wants me to be. I am sure I still have a long way and more scars that will occur but I know that I am cared for. The potter knows how I need to be broken so that He can chip away my impurities to create a vessel that can bring H...
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When Your Heart Stops

I walked into the room filled with joy and excitement. I sat down on the bed next to my love and I saw it. My heart immediately stopped. I could feel my chest tighten and my eyes were flushed with salty tears of pain, anger, and disappointment. When my heart began to beat again I could feel it sink into my stomach. Even though the image was only on the screen for a second before he was able to close it, it felt like minutes. I was able to have an entire dialog with myself as the thoughts flowed from my soul, but I wasn't able to get the lump in my throat up enough to push out the words I so wanted to say. I took a very focused breath and asked what I needed to ask. He seemed extremely defensive in his assurances that it was only a pop-up from a blog.  God must have given me His peace, because I only asked to see the blog that it pops up on. Upon viewing the blog several times there was no pop-up. I had asked to see his history in as much of a calm and nonjudgemental fashion ...
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