Learning Self-control

A lot of my shortcomings lead back to self-control, or my lack of. I feel that it has a great influence on many areas of my life. I was watching a show on Bravo titled Tabatha's Salon Takeover and she kept calling the employees "lazy and complacent." As I think of it I wonder if God looks at me and says the same thing. Lazy is bad enough being that it is only the act of being adverse to work or exertion. But to be complacent (Showing smug or uncritical satisfaction with oneself) also is terrible. I don't want to be proud of doing a half ass job.

I often start out with the best of intentions. I will be focused and motivated for a small amount of time but quickly lose it. I have a very difficult time carrying out anything. Areas of my life that it affect are household, school, health, spiritual walk, and relationships. 

As a mother I get so overwhelmed that the house is never done being cleaned. I feel like by the time I wash all the clothes, do the dishes, clean the house, and make dinner it all needs done over again. I know that I am supposed to have a pride in what I do and the kind of love for my family that makes me happy to do it but I don't. I find that I give up and will only have spurts of getting everything taken care of. I also hold resentment toward my husband and children for making the messes and expecting me to take care of it. I am trying to make a schedule for cleaning and to work on having a servants heart with my family. 

In school I will do very well for  a few months but then get behind. I was so upset at myself for failing a class last semester. I let my self procrastinate and I know that I have a habit to so I usually do work ahead of time to not worry about it. Then after failing I made excuses for myself saying that it was due to it being an online class, we had just moved, we just had a baby, and I was having health issues BUT the fact is that I know myself and if I had focused and worked ahead of schedule I would have gotten an "A" in the class. 

Health is a huge area of my life that things fall apart. I do have legit health issues but  being 115 lbs overweight does not help, it makes things worse. The difference between wishing and wanting is the drive to make it happen. I always say I want to go for a walk but then I just sit on the couch doing nothing. If I had really wanted to go for a walk I would have stood up, put on my shoes, and walked out the door. I would say I want to eat healthy but then grab a bag of popcorn and raw cookie dough. If I could work on eating better and being more active I would get the increased energy to be even more active. I would also take a lot of pressure off of my back, joints, and organs. 

I am not sure if it is the short comings in my spiritual walk that are affecting my struggles with self-control or if it is my short comings with self-control that are affecting my spiritual walk but either way both need help. I believe that a Christian should always be growing and changing as part of the purification process. As God purifies us we reflect Jesus more and more but it is a process that will continue until we go home to Christ. I need to work on having more quiet time with God and having more prayer. I need to be turning my struggle with self-control over to Him.  

These are the areas I hope to be working on and to journal through this blog.

Titus 2:3-5  Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.  Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children,  to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. 

 Proverbs 16:32 Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.