Entering the Next Chapter

Laying in bed I had the weight of my guilt, my inadequacies, my frustration, my disappointment, and my sadness sitting on my chest and making it difficult to breathe. The outward expression of my emotions resulted in a physical pain. What I was feeling was the darkness of defeat.  A few weeks ago, the financial strain in our home was overwhelming. Due to being a slow season, my husband's job had cut him down to ten hours a week. We knew that it wouldn't cover the bills and agreed that my husband had to look for another job. He found a full time night position that is located a little further away. I was nervous about him being gone every night and was worried that I wouldn't be able to keep the girls quiet during the day when he was sleeping. Due to his other job only needing him a couple hours a day he said he would keep both jobs. Before he even began his first day his day job became very busy and needs him to work not only full time, but a little overtime. He is...

Dear Friday,  Today feels like a lazy day. I can't believe you are already here and with you, you bring the end of August.  Dear Hubby,  I am so thankful that you are stepping up and getting a second job. I will miss the time we get together and fear that we will be passing ships in the night. I love you.  Dear Financial Struggles,  I don't think that you will ever go away, but at least you could back off a little bit. I am trying to give you to God but often find myself picking you back up, along with the anxiety you bring.  Dear Abbie,  We found out so much about you health that we didn't know, but don't let it cause you fear. God is in control. He made your body and He will protect it. I am so proud of how much you have been learning. I also love spending so much time with you and teaching you.  Dear Elizabeth,  Thank you for sleeping through the night last night. You have been so needy and jealous of your big sister but it wi...

So many Christian's face the times when the fire in our hearts begins to die down and the overwhelming feelings of emptiness and sadness  begins to grow. We begin to drown in the mundane. As a wife and a mother, I often struggle with this. I am constantly trying to keep up with the cooking, cleaning, diaper changing, laundry, and the budget. It feels like a never ending cycle of stress and constant disappointment. The days melt together and the hours pass by slowly. I begin to feel robotic and even though there are no major things I am completing I am constantly and completely emotionally and physically drained. So often we can get distracted by everyday things such as work, family, and financial stressors. We lose a piece of the fire we once had that burned so bright for God and we sacrifice our time with God but save time for mind numbing activities, such as watching junk on television.  I remember being first saved. I remember the feeling of being unstoppable with God on ...

Dear Friday, I am so glad to see you again. Tomorrow is our anniversary. Today is also payday and you know I love that. Dear Pay Check, Please be enough to cover most of the bills. At least the important ones like internet.. I don't know how long I can survive without the ability to blog. Dear Ion Television, Thank you for playing so many of the shows I love. Especially the way you play multiple shows in a row. Dear Criminal Minds, I think you are becoming one of my new "go to" shows.  I am very confused by the obvious sexual harassment. I guess it isn't considered sexual harassment when it is Shemar Moore doing it. Need I say more? Dear Eb, I am so tired of you refusing to sleep and crying all night. Dear Hubby, Happy Anniversary baby.

Amy had two best friends. She was extremely close to both of her friends and she wouldn't dare to choose one over the other. Both of her friends were selected to represent their school in a statewide spelling bee. She helped both of her friends to study and to practice. She encouraged both friends to continue working hard. As they competed against the other schools they were successful at taking down the competition. One by one, the other schools were knocked out of the running until only Amy's two friends stood standing. Amy was so excited for her friends until suddenly a knot grew in her stomach at the realization that her friends were competing against each other. The next day as she was sitting in the auditorium she watched on in a nervous silence. When one of the friends beat the other and became state wide champion she was put in an uncomfortable position. How could she be a good friend to both girls at the same time? She had to  find a way to celebrate one of her friend...

Dear Friday,  This week has been amazing. I am glad you are here and feel like time will go much faster.  Dear Abbie,  I am so proud of you. You have done amazing at school this week. I had so much fun homeschooling. I don't know why I was so nervous. You are an amazing big sister. I love watching you cuddle with Elizabeth. She is so lucky to have you.  Dear Weather,  Wow... all I can say is thank you. It has been so much nicer outside. It gets warm but I can't complain about it. I was told that we were done with the triple digits.  Dear Sonlight Curriculum,  You are amazing. It is so complete and well organized. I am also glad that you discuss God in each subject.  Dear House,  I told you I would take care of you. I have kept you in order for a couple weeks now. I still need to attack the basement but still I am so proud to show you off now.  Dear Eb,  I think it is so sweet that you are starting ...

╰☆╮ First let me apologize in advance... I have recently found some new emoticons that I can use on here to add a little umph to my posts. Since this is the first time finding them I might over use them a bit... I guess this is an apology and a warning. They are really cute. ╰☆╮ For those who know me, I have always struggled with organizing and cleaning. When I am faced with a mess I just stand staring at it feeling overwhelmed. I have a hard time doing anything because I can't figure out where to start. When I was a child I would be sent to my room to clean and several hours later I would get in trouble for having not finished anything. The other problem I have is focus. I can get really easily distracted sometimes. As I clean I end up looking at ever paper and getting sucked into a entirely different train of thought. I feel like the dogs on the movie "UP" who get side tracked every time they see a squirrel.  Recently, I began reading and doing the whole Flylady th...