Withdrawn... Isolated... Tired...

It isn't very often that my husband becomes concerned about me, but recently he was asking me about my blogging. I told him I haven't written anything in a while and he was concerned. It is not like me to not want to communicate, write, and process things openly. He has been telling me that I need to write a blog post and has even been trying to give me ideas, which slightly annoyed and confused me since he doesn't even read my writings. 

I have battled depression and anxiety since I was in high school. One of my first signs of slipping into it is when I become withdrawn... isolated.. and tired. Don't get me wrong, I don't feel depressed, but I do know that these are warning signs. The best way I have controlled my anxiety and depression is by being proactive. When I feel like isolating, I make myself get out. When I feel like sleeping all the time, I make myself wake up on a schedule. Things like this, along with recognizing my warning signs have made a huge difference. I can notice when I am slipping before I get in too deep. 

The last month has been filled with the mundane and the general life stressors. It has also been really good. 

Stresses: 

• We have to go to the pediatric cardiologist on Nov. 7th for Abbie to see if she may need surgery for her Pectoral Excavatum.
• The family's allergies have been acting crazy.
• Having trouble sleeping with hubby working nights.
• Having trouble keeping girls quiet during days when hubby is sleeping.
• Feeling inadequate as a homeschooling mom. 
• Concerns for family members who are dealing with emotional and physical pain.
• We were all sick with fevers for about a week.
• Financial stresses and bill collectors.

Blessings: 

• Abbie is getting wonderful grades in school. 
• We made it through first quarter of the school year. 
• God has provided for all of our needs. 
• Elizabeth did wonderfully on a developmental test.
• The girls doctor listens to me and their meds for allergies have been amazing.
• I have been cooking new recipes a lot more often. 
• The hubby and I are about to get to spend some quality time together for the next two weekends.
• Read a book about the life of George Muller and am moved at his faith in God and prayer life. 
• God is teaching, molding, and growing me. 
• Finding freedom from technology addiction... cutting out facebook games, cable, and limiting time with television. 
• Have spent more quality time with my folks. 
• Have been loving BSF... I am learning so much and connecting with my group. 
• Husband went forward at church for alter call to say he wants to be Baptized. I have been wanting to tell everyone that he accepted Christ, but it wasn't mine to tell. Now that he has made a proclamation, I can share. Thank you all for prayers and encouragement. 

I am so thankful that while I might be feeling withdrawn, isolated, and tired... I have felt even closer to God. He has been the reason that I handle all the stressors. I am also thankful to have such a loving husband who knows me so well. Just as I wrote this I began to feel better. I want to write so much more. I have missed you all. 

"I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears."- Psalm 34:4