Been a while...
It has been a while since I have written a blog and I know that not many people, if any, actually read it but I think I should put my thoughts here so they wont haunt me when I try to sleep. A lot has happened since I last posted.
My dear hubby lost his job. I tried to pick up the slack financially by starting to work. I have been working for almost three months but the house has really fallen apart. I told him that he is an amazing daddy but a terrible mommy. Everything is so disorganized. I have been washing clothes in the middle of the night. The kitchen seems to never be clean for more than an hour at a time. Elizabeth has not had a meal in a high chair and we have only had a handful of meals at the table, all cooked by me. My office looks like a hurricane went through it.
Abigaile's grades and behavior have been on the decline. So at home everything has been coming apart at the seams. Since Alvin has had several job interviews and if those don't turn out he may have a chance to just take over my position at work. I am so excited about my return home and can't wait until it is the big day.
The health of the family hasn't been too bad. Allergies are plaguing all of us but poor Abbie has taken the biggest hit. My fibromyalgia hasn't been all that terrible. I have been having a lot of pain in my teeth and jaw but don't have the funds or the insurance to pay for dental work. Elizabeth has gained weight and is getting so big and strong. She has teeth coming in and has been cruising around the furniture.
I have been having a tough time emotionally handling a personal tragedy. I lost one of my best friends very suddenly. My friend did not pass away or move but due to some poor choices I couldn't continue our friendship. It is so hard for me because I am not the type of person to suddenly stop talking to someone. Even when I feel hurt and betrayed I long for that friendship to be healed and reunited. It feels almost like I went through a bad breakup. Alvin had to lock my computer so that I would not become obsessive in reading my friends blogs and facebook posts. I really miss her but I know that it would be unfair to her for me to pretend to be able to continue a friendship with her. It would hurt someone else who is very close to me. I am trying to depend on God as my strength. God has taught me so so much over the last few months. I have learned about His grace, His love (AGAPE love), His forgiveness, and His ability to be my foundation.
God is so good even when everything else is bad.
My dear hubby lost his job. I tried to pick up the slack financially by starting to work. I have been working for almost three months but the house has really fallen apart. I told him that he is an amazing daddy but a terrible mommy. Everything is so disorganized. I have been washing clothes in the middle of the night. The kitchen seems to never be clean for more than an hour at a time. Elizabeth has not had a meal in a high chair and we have only had a handful of meals at the table, all cooked by me. My office looks like a hurricane went through it.
Abigaile's grades and behavior have been on the decline. So at home everything has been coming apart at the seams. Since Alvin has had several job interviews and if those don't turn out he may have a chance to just take over my position at work. I am so excited about my return home and can't wait until it is the big day.
The health of the family hasn't been too bad. Allergies are plaguing all of us but poor Abbie has taken the biggest hit. My fibromyalgia hasn't been all that terrible. I have been having a lot of pain in my teeth and jaw but don't have the funds or the insurance to pay for dental work. Elizabeth has gained weight and is getting so big and strong. She has teeth coming in and has been cruising around the furniture.
I have been having a tough time emotionally handling a personal tragedy. I lost one of my best friends very suddenly. My friend did not pass away or move but due to some poor choices I couldn't continue our friendship. It is so hard for me because I am not the type of person to suddenly stop talking to someone. Even when I feel hurt and betrayed I long for that friendship to be healed and reunited. It feels almost like I went through a bad breakup. Alvin had to lock my computer so that I would not become obsessive in reading my friends blogs and facebook posts. I really miss her but I know that it would be unfair to her for me to pretend to be able to continue a friendship with her. It would hurt someone else who is very close to me. I am trying to depend on God as my strength. God has taught me so so much over the last few months. I have learned about His grace, His love (AGAPE love), His forgiveness, and His ability to be my foundation.
God is so good even when everything else is bad.
God is good. All the time. OK...I think I've read pretty much your entire blog now. I have to be up in less than 6 hours so I should probably try to sleep. I'm deeply sorry about the loss of your friend. I know that she can never undo the wrong and the hurt she caused you and your family, but I know that she is deeply sorrowful over her actions and she wishes that she could hug you and make all the bad go away. Yeah...she wants to hug you. That's what I think anyway...
ReplyDeleteIn many cases things must die in order to allow for new growth. Though the actions weren't right God is the one who can make things new and better. Even though I loved our friendship it would not have ever grown into what it will grow into someday, without it dying. Our friendship is going through a purification process. John 12:24 "Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. "
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