Entering the Next Chapter

As a woman I think one of the most difficult things to deal with is not a particular situation, but rather the lack of control in a situation. There is a small comfort in having control over things in my life. There is a false sense of stability.  Things I like to have control over: My children, my household, my finances, my friendships, my vehicle, and my spouse. I have this irrational fear. I fear that once I lose control of one thing, everything else will fall apart. I often wonder if God allows certain things to happen in order to show me that He is in control.  This may seem a little off subject but hang in with me and you will quickly see where I am going with this.  I opened up the church bulletin and a disappointment set in. I saw that the sermon was focused on a woman's responsibilities in marriage. It may sound bad but to be honest, I didn't want to be convicted. I didn't want for anyone, including God to correct what I am currently doing as a spouse. What...

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years? This one is kinda tough for me. I am not sure how into it I will go. My life has never gone the way I thought it would. This is not a bad thing, it is actually quite the opposite. For example, I am going to flip this around. 15 yrs ago I was 12. I remember feeling so proud to be a "preteen" and thinking I was so grown. I was sure that I would be a massage therapist. I wanted to also be a singer to raise money for my Special Education class. I had thought that I would be living back in Ohio.  This was before I began having my chronic pains through out my body. 10 years ago I was 17. I had thought that I would have gone far away to college. I wanted to be a sign interpreter for a Christian school. I loved kids but had no direct interest in having any. I also didn't want any man to tell me what to do or to hold me down.  This was before I met my now hubby and just two year prior to becoming pregnant.  ...

If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first? I would choose healing touch. I think of how differently my life would be if I would have been able to heal myself of the chronic pains that began in sixth grade (I can't believe it has been 15 years) and of the athletic asthma. Would I have been more physically active? Would I have been a massage therapist? Would I have been able to do my daughters hair the way she wishes? Would I be in a better mood towards my family? So many questions.  Who else would I heal? I would probably heal my children when they are hurt. But don't all mommies have that power already?  Though I said that I would have chosen the power of healing, now thinking about it I wouldn't. God has used my struggles with health and has pulled me closer to Him. If having better health would mean sacrificing the closeness I have with the Lord, from trusting Him to help me with my daily struggles, I wouldn't want it...

Friday, June 22, 2012 Though I know we met nine months ago, I didn't really get to know you well until a couple months ago. When I would get hot headed you would always help me cool off. Oh how I will miss just chilling out with you. You hung in for as long as you could and were declared dead this morning. We will really miss you. I am sure that you will be donating your parts to other units in need. Though we will mourn the loss of you this week I am sure we will be ready to move on in a week when we replace you. You lived a long hard life... Thank you for all you did.  A/C Unit 1990-2012

Dear Hubby,  Congratulations on your interview. I hope that God opens the doors that will lead you to your future career.   Dear Friend,  Thank you for meeting with me to catch up and to talk about homeschooling. I have really missed our conversations.  Dear Children, Please help me by being peaceful today. I have been so blessed to spend time with you all and am excited about our day tomorrow.  Dear A/C,  You still suck. That's not all, this time. What really sucks is you pretending to work then changing your mind.  Dear My Future Self,  Whatever is going on when you read this... God is good. God is always good. His grace is sufficient.  Dear House,  Please don't be mad when you are still a mess tomorrow afternoon... it takes a little time to get in the habit of organizing.  Dear devil,  FU** YOU!!! Dear God,  Please protect the hearts and spirits of my family. The devil is scheming and  I can s...

Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood. The splintered wooden tablet: She sat in the chair to the right of the television. Her strong spirit in a frail body. She called me over to her. I would sit by her side and watch her play solitaire on the coarse wood board embroidered with splinters. Her deck of cards sat beside her on the table until she wanted to play their worn faces. I would sit and play with her translucent skin. Moving it about, back and forth over her veins, using a finger. My Great Grandma would smile and then reciprocate by looking at my young flexible skin. Her dark black hair lay neatly on the top of her head. As the years passed so went her memory, but her ageless beauty stood strong.  The Orange Crackers: When he, my Uncle Jerry, would show up at my Grandpa's home I knew that he had a hidden surprise awaiting me in the shirt pocket of his cotton collared shirt. He would smile as he pulled out three packs of orange crackers. They were the cheese c...

Mama Kat's weekly writing prompt exercise... I woke up in the middle of the night with the baby screaming. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with her. When I went to pick her up I realized that she was drenched in sweat. I stumbled around for the light switch so I could see better. Why was she sweating so much? Is she sick? I was obviously still half asleep because it took me a minute to realize that I was dripping with sweat also. Yup, the A/C is still broken. I had hoped that they had fixed it but that is clearly not the case. I ran around the house trying to find things to cool her down. Now that she is back asleep I can't fall asleep. Boo!!  Well at least this gives me time to catch up on my blog. I know how you all just can't go on with your day until you are blessed with my writing ( Sarcasm )... lol.  You know you're a Mom when...  You get songs from Nick Jr. stuck in your head... "It's time to eat.. yeah.. yummy yummy.. time to eat... ye...