Things are about to change...

Over seven years ago, I began writing this blog. I have had many times when I paused for a bit and picked it back up later. Writing has always been a way for me to process my thoughts and feelings. Just as I have changed a lot over the last seven years, so shall this blog. The heart of it will remain the same though. 

 What is the heart of the blog? Life sucks... things happen... it is not easy and it never will be. God is still faithful. God is still worthy of glory and honor. I tend to not sugar coat things, so if that is your preference you might want to look elsewhere. 

 I am entering a new chapter. This chapter is one I never ever imagined I would be entering, the life of a single mother of three and soon to be a divorcee. I am 34 years old, living back home with my parents and daughters, trying to get my footing. It sucks.... like a dagger into your heart, bleeding out on the floor trying to call out for help but only able to get out silent screams as the world just continues on. This has been a time of darkness that I have not faced since my battle before coming to the Lord. I would not wish this on anyone. I am grieving what was, what I thought things were, and what I dreamed things to be. I get glimpses of hope and light, but almost as quickly I feel the claws of darkness reach from the dry ground and grasp me. I try to pull away and maneuver out of the clinch of depression but it wraps its cold boney deathly hand across my mouth and with a jolt I am back down underground. 

 If you are in a tough season I may not know the situation you are facing, but my heart breaks with yours. Please know that you are not alone. I am beyond thankful for the support and love I have found in these times. I don't feel Gods love at this moment, but I have seen Him moving through the situation and through His people. 
What this blog will not ever be: this will never be a way to point fingers or talk bad about soon to be ex-husband. I still love him so much and pray that he would be wrapped in Gods love. Nothing would be better for him, for my girls, and for Gods kingdom than for my ex to be a godly man who loves God completely and wholeheartedly. 

 So welcome to the mess that is my life. Welcome to the honest real me. I am glad you are here as I am entering the next chapter.

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