Entering the Next Chapter

Identity is a big issue for many people. Who am I? A question asked by many. Identity seems so fluid and changes depending on the people we are surrounded by, the circumstances we find ourselves in, and our emotions at that very moment.  If you were to ask me, "Faith, where do you find your identity?"  My "good Christian" answer would be that I find my identity in the Lord. I know what He says about me. I know that He loves me. I know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I know that I am made in His image. I know that He loves me enough to send His son Jesus to die for me. That would be my "good Christian" answer... not the reality. I find my identity in the way my children behave or misbehave. I find myself feeling a deep sense of shame when they sin and fall short. I also find myself feeling shame when they are very behaved and yet I am still feeling short tempered with them.  I find my identity in my lack of ability to keep my home clean. Wh...

I let myself cry last night. I hate crying. When I cry I feel weak and embarrassed. I feel as if I am not holding it together. I feel broken. I especially hate crying in front of my children. I don't want to break their spirits or concern them. I don't want them to see mommy out of control. When I cry in front of them I feel as if I am failing to show them God's light, love, and hope. I tell them all the time that it is ok to cry. I tell them that it is ok to feel overwhelmed. I tell them that I love them and I pray with them, but when it comes to myself I act differently. If the person in this situation was a friend of mine or just a stranger, I would love them and support them. I don't allow myself the same grace.  Let me give you a little background on what lead to this crash and burn. Our van is in the shop until next week. My loving parents are going to cover the cost; it is a huge blessing but I feel an overwhelming amount of guilt. I feel unworthy of them...

Have you ever had times when you were so overcome with the woes of the world and life that you came before God's throne only to struggle with focus? Do your struggles keep interrupting your time with God? Even as I write this, I find myself  distracted and drawn to other situations and problems that seem to need my attention, but they really don't. Not everything, actually most things, are not as emergent as we tend to think or feel. We get wrapped up in the now. I have to get the van fixed now! I have to clean the house now! I have to deal with this situation now! What would really happen if we stepped back and even for an hour said, "OK God, I don't know what to do. I a, so tired, so frustrated, so done with this. God show me what to do. Help me to focus on you."  Would the world fall apart? Would all come to a crashing halt?  Or would you find yourself more in alignment with God's will and His peace? We live in a "now " world. We can o...

Hello Friends, It feels like it has been forever. I have missed writing so much but haven't felt like I could. I haven't felt like I have had enough to say. Have you ever felt like you weren't enough? Is your life enough? Are your relationships enough? Is your job enough? What is enough? Merriam Webster defines enough as "occurring in such quantity, quality, or scope as to fully meet demands, needs, or expectations. I would define enough as the unobtainable bar that continues to only move further from me. It is the state of living a life full of regret, guilt, and sadness. In my life there are several areas where I would consider I am falling behind in the enough category. Here are just a few: I am not smart enough I am not strong enough I am not fit enough I am not brave enough I am not good enough as a wife I am not good enough as a mother I do not have enough financial stability I do not have enough faith Where are you falling short in the enoug...

Dear Friend, Often the weight of the situation becomes too heavy to bear and it becomes easy to lose hope. It feels like an never ending up hill battle. Soon it feels like the mind, body, and spirit are all worn down. If you are in this place right now, know that you are not alone. My heart is heavy for those who feel like they are just trudging along. Your situation might be health, finances, children, homeschooling, work, classes, frustration with the government, family, depression, or so much more. Often it is even a combination of many things. My friend, don't lose hope. Even if it feels like you are making very little progress, keep pushing forward. You are not alone and you do not have to share your burden alone. Perseverance... I love that word. It do not require me to be strong, smart, or talented. Perseverance is like the wind. While mountains are solid and strong, the wind breaks them down. Not by the mighty forces of the wind but rather by persistence. It might...

In the past I thought being a good Christian meant wearing a mask. Projecting an image of happiness and wholeness to all those around me. I thought the mask would help others to see Jesus through me. It would keep my brokenness from becoming a distraction to others. I would wear this mask that I created and when the mask would slip, I would become overcome with guilt for failing as a Christian. Through the last several years, I have found that sometimes people can see God most shining through the cracks of my brokenness. I was doing God no favors by being artificial. God wanted to use my brokenness. He wanted to heal my brokenness. He wanted to love me in my brokenness. As a society we have things that are stigmatized. Things that go unspoken for fear of rejection and judgement. Sadly, this is not much more different in our Christian walk.There are some subjects that are uncomfortable and can make us feel vulnerable. Top Three Things Christians Hide: (Some of these overlap) 1. ...

Why is playing peek-a-boo with a little baby so much fun?  It would have to be the true look of shock and joy when your face is no longer hidden.  When babies are little they will think that something that they can not see, touch, or sense is gone. For example placing a toy behind their back. Suddenly the toy has vanished and is gone. I have heard this is true also to why many babies begin to cry when their parent is out of view. The baby seeks their mother or father for comfort but since they can not see or hear them, the parent must be gone.  As babies get a little older and grow cognitively, they begin to develop object permanence.  They start to look for the toy behind their back instead of thinking it has disappeared forever.  I struggle with my spiritual object permanence (s.o.p). There will be times when I see God clearly moving and working in my life to protect and provide for me. I feel His love and I do not feel afraid or alone. God has proven ...